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Blog Archive 2018 May

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Tue May 1 = I went by a Lowe's armed with the unidentified magnetic object from
Stan
Stanley, my older brother who was a retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS until he sucommed to a three-week bout with Myasthenia gravis in March, 2018
's place and confirmed what I suspected, that the strong magnets resist the movement of an aluminum bar.
- I spent several hours at the North KC YMCA and met Randy, its director. Also, there, this evening's big project was to finish updating my KC email list and send emails out to 29 fans in the area. I'm sure some of the people at the Y thought I was stuck to that chair in the Wellness Corner.
- I made my first appearance in a Burlington store, N KCMO, finding that the prices were more reasonable than I expected. I spent the night in a parking lot between Burlington and a Discount Tire Store, so I could get my tire pressures checked, cold in the morning.

Wed May 2 = I have been communicating with Tom, of the Savannah Comedy Revue about my appearance there on June 9th. The plan is for me to be one of two features leading up to the main event, ventriloquist, Peter Hefty.
- This evening I made two comedy appearances. The Rino was my first appearance in North Kansas City, MO. It was a fun and supportive crowd of 22. After I introduced myself as an Old man my mind went totally blank, so I fell into my Roman Numeral and Arizona Lou routines. Everyone enjoyed it and no one knew the better.
- Next stop was the Red Front Bar, just across the river in KCMO. It's s good thing Dustin, the host, remembered me from two months earlier, because I had forgotten, having approached the place across the Missouri River from the north today rather than the south.

Thu May 3 = In the middle of the night I ended up with a sore throat - not too good for a comedian.

Fir May 4 = I found a touchless car wash, Olympic, 6220 N Oak Trafficway in North KCMO. It took a little while for me to get some Goof Off from an Ace Hardware store and wash off all the remaining spots on the front of my van from the drive to Dallas. I also cleaned off the greasy residue left from the dumpster impact in Fort Worth. I stopped by Gladstone Dodge and bought a little bottle of touch up paint to take care of the dumpster scratches.
- I figured out, too late, how to get a local list of people coming to see me when I am in town only a few days before an appearance. The Richard, manager of Stanfords wanted me to have a list, which I did not have. He still let me go up for a few minutes (8) on both shows tonight. Thank you Richard.
- The night in my van near Stanfords, was pretty miserable. I got up to pee five times, I think due to my cold.

Sat May 5 = My sore throat was worse today. I managed, anyway to do an 8-minute set at Stanfords. The other, more experienced, comedians are neat. David, Dooly, the feature asked to exchange information, which I was happy to do. Adam Maxwell, the headliner and I chatted a little. My new, older (but not older than me, of course) comedian friend, David said he liked the conciseness of my blog. Hurrah! The conciseness is because I hate writing - especially blogging.
- I received an email from the Devil's Cup comedy competition in New York City that I was not selected to participate. Maybe next year!
- During the night, I ran a little fever. Around 7am the local police checked on me to see if I was OK. I had just gotten up to pee, so they did not interrupt my sleep. They asked me to get out of my van, but changed their mind when I said it was my home away from home and that I'd have to put something on. They apologized for the interruption.

Sun May 6 = Nothing special today. I spent the night in Sterling Acres in KCMO. During the night I tracked my fever as well as the voltage in my
LiFeMnPO
our van's Lithium/Iron/Manganese/Phosphate/Oxygen house battery
.

Mon May 7 = I drove from southeast KCMO to Westport Plaza in Maryland Heights just west of St Louis. My plan was to stop by the Thornhill Branch Library on my way. Both my phone and Garmin GPSs took me to a big fenced dirt area. No big parking lot or library as shown on the Google Earth view. When I phoned, I got the county library main number which explained that Thornhill was closed for renovation. Yeah, I guess!
- I spent some time this evening at the St Louis Bread Company and then spent the night in my van parked east of Wesport Plaza in their parking lot by their best shade tree - for morning shade, that is.

Tue May 8 = This morning, in my van, I entered the additional 28 fan email addresses that I had gathered. Why in my van? Because I could use my ENTERED May 8, 2018 self-inking stamp.
- This evening I was among about 18 disappointed comedians who did not make the list for the Funny Bone Open Mic tonight. Yes, they knew I was from out of town and that I expected two guests - a gentleman and his girlfriend. I met them last night at the St Louis Bread Company.

Wed May 9 = Healthy and active? I had a mild headache most of today and very loose stools. As a result of the latter I started a course of Loperamide by taking two of them.
- Tonight's comedy was at Bart's Town in Louisville. What a neat and supportive bunch, with host Kate. She gave me an awesome introduction, mentioning that all profits from my my merch went to charity... to support my habit of expensive hookers. They enjoyed my Viagra set, but I forgot to end with I just did five minutes of... stick shift!
- After the show I joined Michael Kinberger, Danny Hucks and John Smothers (the host tonight) at The Post Pizza Restaurant. For the night I parked in a nearby neighborhood. It was quiet and shady.

Thu May 10 = This morning, still parked in the quiet, shady neighborhood, I organized the paperwork from
Stan
Stanley, my older brother who was a retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS until he succumbed to a three-week bout with Myasthenia gravis in March, 2018
houses and made some phone calls to recordings of people who have expressed an interest in the houses.
- My diarrhea reached an uncontrollable level before I made it to the bathroom at the Highlands Shelby Park Library. Fortunately, it was more of an inconvenience rather than a big mess.
- The group of comedians at The Bard's Town was very supportive and fun. Kate, the host, gave me a neat introduction for my Viagra set. I sold four T-Shirts. I sold no T-Shirts when just hanging around my T-Case after the show, but four of them by taking a shirt around and asking individuals if they were interested.
- I spent the night outside a Kroger in southeast Louisville by a non-existent Anytime Fitness.

Fri May 11 = Today I got the video uploaded from my appearance in Louisville at The Caravan Comedy Club.

Sat May 12 = This afternoon, in the Berea, KY library I cut up my pre-printed pages into about 300 pink email slips and about 150 microposters for Comedy-n-Sunset shows for the
OBX
Hatteras Island and the Outer Banks off the coast of North Carolina
. I also worked on organizing my tour for the rest of May. This is one of the few libraries that figures that it's customers are not so stupid as to cut off their fingers if they let them use a paper cutter.
- I drove down to Knoxville, TN for the night in the parking structure under a Walmart. Nice and shady, not cool for the night, but noisy.

Sun May 13 = Today I got the Westar Energy report by email for
Stan
Stanley, my older brother who was a retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS until he succumbed to a three-week bout with Myasthenia gravis in March, 2018
's house. It consumed an average 166.6 W during the four days of the current billing month. That's a little high for two 60 W equivalent LED light bulbs, but not enough to worry about.
- I spent the night in South Knoxville, TN

Mon May 14 = Working out at the famous Gold's Gym was possible for me because they take Silver Sneakers.
- I watched a neat comedy show at the Star Community Bar - all pre-booked open mics.
- I have started taking some psyllium, although my stools are better - still experiencing urgency.

Tue May 15 = Three comedy appearances in Atlanta tonight: 6 minutes at the Urban Grind, 3 minutes at Cat's Cafe (awesome place and show produced by Maurice Sims) and 2 minutes at the Limerick Junction.

Wed May 16 = Fidelity, the company that managed
Stan
Stanley, my older brother who was a retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS until he succumbed to a three-week bout with Myasthenia gravis in March, 2018
's pension seemed to not care that they were sloppy and deposited an extra pension payment into his checking account. Of course they want (and deserve) the money back and are picky as to how and when. Engineering that feat took some interstate coordination.

Thu May 17 = Today I washed my giant towel at the most modern and energy-efficient laundromat I've seen. I washed the towel because it got dirty when I used it as a mat to look at my van's starter when it was raining. I also did a light full-body workout at a Workout Anytime gym.
- Tonight I made my second appearance at the Relapse Theater. Good group. I sold five 5-shirts there.

Fri May 18 = My
XPS
Dell XPS-13 computer with 13.3" touch screen, 60WHr Integrated Battery, Windows 10, Intel 7th Generation Core i7 CPU, 16gb memory and 1TB SSD
had a 67% battery charge this morning after leaving it closed (probably on standby) for the night.
- The Peachtree branch library's internet was so slow that I had to use my Android's tethered phone. I did make 18 announcement slips with their printer, with the help of Kenneth there. Thanks, Kenneth!
- Two comedy appearances tonight: Apache Cafe in Atlanta and Duckanoo in Stone Mountain

Sat May 19 = Keeping up with business, I had to print an insurance cancellation form, fill it out with a witness, take a picture of it and email it to Dottie in McPherson to keep Allied/Nationwide happy and get
Stan
Stanley, my older brother who was a retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS until he succumbed to a three-week bout with Myasthenia gravis in March, 2018
's Buick insurance canceled. They learned that it does no good to send things to me in Phoenix through the mail.
- Two comedy appearances tonight. The first was in Atlanta at the 529 Bar. The stage was a little cluttered with naked Black mannequins and stuff left over from something else.
- Then, In Lithonia, GA at the Blue Room I just showed up. There was no open Mic. The host, Vanessa Fraction, took a chance and spontaneously put me up for a few minutes. It was a neat crowd of mostly Blacks. My DR/Hand routine did not go as well as I had expected. Thanks, Vanessa! I learned to pick my topic by audience rather than my topic sequence.

Sun May 20 = My comedy tonight was in Atlanta at the Rocky Mountain Pizza Company. I did my Gym/T-Shirt routines.

Mon May 21 = I gained a bad attitude today, very helpful in my business, or any business, for that matter. I don't care if you listen to me; I don't care if you like me; This is me and I like it!

Tues May 22 = I didn't even know that YouFit had gyms in the Atlanta area, but I found one on my way, went and had a good workout.

Wed May 23 = Today I put my nose to the grindstone and the pedal to the medal and drove all the way from Atlanta to Greensboro, running a little late to report in for the open mic. I was informed that today was Wednesday and the open mic is tomorrow - Thursday. In my rush this morning, I forgot to check the date. Alzheimer... or just occupied with so many things? At least I was not a day LATE.
- This evening I worked late at Workout Anytime, entering 44 fan email addresses in about 30 minutes.
- I spent the night in a quiet, shady neighborhood.

Thu May 24 = Working at a library in Greensboro, I got a phone call from the City of Hutchinson bureaucrats, Nancy and Angela, about water for
Stan
Stanley, my older brother who was a retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS until he succumbed to a three-week bout with Myasthenia gravis in March, 2018
's rental duplex. Evidently the city would rather have the residents homeless or without water than to sign them up for water since they do not own the property and because there is only one water meter for the duplex. There IS no owner, Duh! They said that they are trying to protect the residents. Yea, right!
- Comedy tonight was at the Idiot Box Open Mic to an audience of 29, mostly comedians. My Viagra routine killed, exceeding my comedy goals with 8 laughs per minute and laughing 35% of the time, if for only 4:16. My goals: 6 laughs per minute and laughing 30% of the time.

Fri May 25 = I spent a lot of time getting nowhere with the irrational, uncaring bureaucrats in the City of Hutchinson, who are determined to not let Christi, the resident of Sherman, open an account with them so she can have water there. In frustration, I phoned Channels 10 and 12. They seemed to be interested in this unbelievable bureaucratic abuse.
- BIG project today was installing a remote starter button for my van with wires leading from under the hood, through the door jam and to near the speedometer. This is to bypass the non-functioning neutral safety switch.
- Tonight's comedy show at the The Idiot Box Comedy Club was canceled due to the lack of comedians and audience. I was so looking forward to doing five minutes of a combination of Holding and anemometer.

Sat May 26 = It's a good thing I had all my van doors locked for the night, because a police officer tried to open the doors when she knocked on the windows. I had my act together and before opening the right sliding door I turned on my stereo voice recorder and turned my dash cam around facing the door and activated its power. I explained that I planned to be off a little after noon. The neighborhood residents have been watching to much TV.
- I knew I would increase the chance of being a suspicious vehicle by being the only vehicle parked in that area and parking directly in front of a house... but there was a great shade tree for the morning.
- About an hour later, I got more knocks on the windows by two male police officers that advised me that it would be a good idea for me to get dressed and leave. I guess, in their business, they grow distrustful, as they followed me as far as a shopping center parking lot on a major street.
- Before all that, the new starter button I installed yesterday paid off. About 6:00am I was awakened by my refrigerator's high-temperature alarm, as my
LiFeMnPO
our van's Lithium/Iron/Manganese/Phosphate/Oxygen house battery
 had done an automatic low-voltage shuttoff at 11.5 volts. I pressed the magic button and started the van to idle for 16 minutes of charging the LiFeMnPO while I fixed my oatmeal to eat later. Without the button I would have hade to dress, put on shoes, pop the hood... well you know the routine.
- This evening I saw Jason Millikan (host), Roger Keys (feature) and Darren DS Sanders (headliner). The last two were excellent. Comedy Zone is not particularly comedian friendly. They charged me $10 admission and said I'd have to pay another $10 if I wanted to sit on on the second show.
- I don't do it often because it takes so much time, but after the Comedy Zone show, at Fat Dog's Grille & Pub, I analyzed my set at the Idiot Box on Thursday. It was cool with 8 laughs per minute and laughing 35% of the time. That means I killed!

Sun May 27 = Here in Greensboro, I probably made my first and last visit to a Panda Express, as they have no bread and no Wi-Fi, although I thought they told me they had Wi-Fi before I placed my order for chicken and vegetables. However, their portions WERE generous. I ended up going to McDonalds, used their good Wi-Fi, updated my Comedy Home Page and bought a chocolate chip cookie - for tomorrow's snack night.
- Then I did the 30-minute drive to Winston-Salem, got acquainted with Carlos, the owner of Monstercade, and then went to a laundromat. This time I remembered to wash the tripod-wrapping towels I got from
Stan
Stanley, my older brother who was a retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS until he succumbed to a three-week bout with Myasthenia gravis in March, 2018
's house.
- I spent the night in the excellent shade in a corner of the Dollar General parking accross the street from Monstercade. Monstercade has a bunch of video games to play, I think for free.

Mon May 28 = I hung out in the Dollar General parking lot for a while then went to the Winston-Salem LA Fitness for a very quick heavy and slow legs workout.
- This evening Monstercade made me feel special. Carlos put me up last as the headliner with extra time. I did mostly new stuff for the area that included Introducing Arizona Lou History, Viagra and, of course T-Shirts. It was af fun, supportive and enthusiastic audience. I had met Alex, the host, at several open mics in Greensboro. He certainl y made me feel good with his introduction: "... actual headliner of the night, this guy is slowly becoming one of my new favorite people in the whole world, for sure, the best comedian ever, give it up for Arizona Lou, everybody."
- Carlos let me spend the night parked on the east side of Monstercade.

Tue May 29 = The parking lot was almost filled around my van by the time I finished breakfast - and Monstercade was closed. Evidently the restaurant on the other side has really good chicken.
- This afternoon I drove from Winston-Salem to Greensboro, did a slow heavy arms workout and spent a couple hours at the Benjamin Public Library, then headed to the Westerwood Tavern to meet Matty Sheets and do an eight minute set on his open mic variety show. The last part of the show I cought up on this blog and got it uploaded... a little after midnight.
- For the night I drove the 26-minute, 18.5 mile drove to the Walmart at 141 Garden Rd in east Burlington, NC.

Wed May 30 = I fount that the Gram Public Library has 24 hour internet which is available inside my van when parked on the west side of the building.
- I had someone complement me on my website's blog - brief and concise. Good! Cuz I don't like writing.
- I spent the night in Durham, NC. About 3am I thought of having magnetic signs on my car for comedy.

Thu May 31 = Got a lot done today, although it did not include going to a gym. - Spent the night at a Tarboro, NC walmart.

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